Do You Think Kids’ Behavior Is Justified Because of the System? | Blog Post 4

Do You Think Kids’ Behavior Is Justified Because of the System?

No. I think it’s understood because of the system — and redirected with purpose.

Let’s clear something up.

When we talk about how school systems are built for only 2 of the 16 personality types…When we say some students are being mislabeled as “defiant” or “lazy” because of how their brain naturally works…When we talk about restructuring classrooms and expectations to reflect who kids actually are…

We are not saying that all behavior is okay.We’re not saying kids don’t need boundaries.We’re not saying we just need to “let them be themselves” and hope for the best.

What we’re saying is: we need to stop shooting in the dark when it comes to behavior — and start building strategies that actually work.

I Believe in Boundaries.

I believe kids need to be taught how to be socially appropriate.I believe they need to learn how to communicate respectfully — even when they’re dysregulated.I believe they need to be held accountable when they cross lines.And I believe they need to trust the people setting those boundaries.

But trust doesn’t come from punishment. It comes from feeling seen, safe, and understood.

Personality ≠ Excuse.

Personality = Blueprint.

Every child comes into this world wired a certain way.Some are cautious and observant.Some are energetic and reactive.Some question everything.Some follow every rule until they snap from the pressure.

If we want to guide behavior in a meaningful way, we have to understand the internal world driving that behavior.

That’s where personality comes in — not as an excuse, but as a framework.A starting point.A map to move kids out of survival mode and into self-regulation.

And here's what I believe: when we understand a child's personality and place them in an environment that sparks their interest, it doesn't just support their behavior — it transforms it. When students are in a school setting aligned with both who they are and what excites them, motivation skyrockets, resistance decreases, and academic engagement becomes real.

And when behaviors still show up — as they sometimes will — we don’t panic.We use specialized scripts and targeted social-emotional lessons designed specifically for how that student’s brain works.

These aren’t cookie-cutter behavior interventions or generic calming strategies. These are scripts tailored to each personality, written with language that speaks directly to how their mind ticks — what motivates them, what calms them, what triggers a shutdown, and what brings them back online.

We Stopped Guessing — And Everything Changed.

At my school, once we identified our students’ personality types, we developed individual behavior protocols based on those types. These weren’t just vague tips. They were concrete, responsive tools staff could carry with them — literally.

When a student escalated and a call went out over the radio, whoever responded didn’t walk in blind.They walked in with clarity:

• For some students, we grounded them — stayed present, made eye contact, offered calming choices.

• For others, we disengaged — removed the audience, avoided power struggles, and responded with quiet neutrality.

• For some, we shifted the focus — redirected their energy into hands-on activity or purpose.

• For others, we offered space — not as a consequence, but as a reset.

Because when you know how a child’s brain ticks, you stop reacting — and start responding.

And guess what?It worked.

When kids feel like you understand them, they stop fighting you.When staff feel confident in how to respond, they stop reacting emotionally.When protocols are personalized instead of one-size-fits-all, behavior becomes manageable — even in the hardest moments.

Schools Don’t Feel Safe — Because the System Isn’t Working

Let’s also be honest: the current rules aren’t keeping teachers or students safe.

Ask almost any educator or parent right now, and they’ll say the same thing:It feels like everything is out of control.Students are overwhelmed.Teachers are exhausted.Parents are scared.And the people making the laws often have never stepped foot in a classroom.

The result?We’re left with inclusion policies (more on that in the next post), overwhelmed teachers, under-supported aides, and students with serious needs being pushed into general education classrooms without the tools in place to support them.

We’ve got staff responding on instinct and hope, not training and clarity.We’ve got behavior plans written with clip charts and token boards — not neuroscience and personality development.We’ve got reaction-based systems trying to solve long-term issues.

And it’s not working.

Where We Go From Here

Understanding personality is not a “nice extra.”It’s a safety measure.It’s a relationship builder.It’s a preventative tool that reduces crisis moments and increases connection.

We need systems that:

• Hold kids accountable and teach them how to regulate.

• Set firm boundaries and build trust.

• Keep schools safe and humanize every student in the building.

Because kids don’t need to be allowed to do whatever they want.

They need to be guided with intention by adults who care enough to understand them deeply.

Next up:

Let’s talk about inclusion laws — what they were meant to do, what’s gone wrong, and how we can create safer classrooms for all students without sacrificing support or safety.