Teacher Stories #3: Supporting an INFJ Student — From Crisis to Connection

By: Mikaela Ostrander

Not all challenging behaviors come from anger or defiance. Sometimes, they come from deep discomfort, traum or a desperate need for control over a confusing environment. This is often true for students with an INFJ personality profile — sensitive, thoughtful, and quietly struggling to find their place.

What Makes an INFJ Student Unique?

INFJs crave stability and safety in their environment. They don’t always realize when they’re uncomfortable — their reactions may come as sudden outbursts or attempts to reset control when things feel chaotic. These students are deeply influenced by the people around them — their “wolf pack” — and need loyal, consistent relationships to feel secure.

They don’t naturally have internal “breaks” to stop themselves when emotions run high, so external guidance and clear boundaries are crucial. INFJs respond best when approached with honesty, respect, and opportunities to understand the consequences of their choices — both short and long term.

My Experience: From Danger to Growth

One student I worked with embodied these struggles in a very intense way. He was charging at others with large branches, uttering threatening words, and clearly in a difficult mental space. Immediate intervention was needed.

Using social-emotional lessons designed around his brain’s affiliative wiring, we focused on helping him understand good choices vs. bad choices and how these impact his future. We provided consistent grounding techniques, safe spaces, and explicit teaching about rules and consequences. We worked together to build a sense of justice and connection.

He qualified for academic, behavioral, and social-emotional supports — but by June 2025, he no longer qualifies for special education services because he is thriving. He has found his wolf pack, developing those relationships independently, and is flourishing academically and socially.

His intelligence and growth have been nothing short of remarkable.

What This Story Teaches Us

• Early, tailored interventions based on personality and brain wiring can transform crisis into growth

• Building safety and trust is foundational — especially for sensitive students who may lash out when overwhelmed

• Social-emotional lessons that focus on choices, consequences, and justice help these students self-regulate and connect

• With the right support, students can outgrow labels and thrive in and out of the classroom

FOR THE TEACHER TRAINING on the 16 personalities; OR JUST MORE TRAINING IN GENERAL ON THE 16 PERSONALITIES AND HOW TO IMPLEMENT IN THE CLASSROOM - HEAD TO WWW.MINDCHILD.NET